Yin and Yang

As you can all probably presume, yesterday I felt hurt by the actions of a few people in my life.  These aren't people that I'm close to, but their intent towards me is hurtful nonetheless.  And so I dwelled on it last night; I couldn't help it.

But you know what I realized today, after talking to a good friend?  If not for these icky deceptive people, I would never have met two people that have recently grown to be very near and dear to my heart.  And so I present the ever so apparent cliche of the Yin and Yang.

We've all been hurt.  We've all experienced a time afterwards that has made us feel like we might lose our faith in goodness and in balance.  And I'll be the first person to admit, when I encounter such experiences, I can never remember that (in almost all cases) a balance will emerge and in very little time, something will happen that will remind me of why I do choose to be the way I am.

There really is goodness out there.  And there really does exist a collection of people around us that remain near to us because they are who they are: wonderful, supportive, honest, and pure.  So here's to the bad people: go suck on a lemon!  For those of us who are real and true will always prevail, and we will always be better than you.

And to those who are just like me, including my two most recent allies, thank you for being exactly who you are.  And thank you for being in my life: for many reasons.

Love always...

"Individually, we are one drop. Together, we are an ocean." Ryunosuke Satoro

Shocks me every time...

I have some very redeeming qualities that make me who I am, and which also contribute to the fact that people tend to take to me very easily and quickly.  I make friends quite easily, and I can strike up conversation with almost anyone.  To be this kind of person, you must trust easily, have empathy, often give people the benefit of the doubt, have faith in the goodness of others, and believe in the best.

This is the kind of person I am.  That being said, when you're this kind of person, you unfortunately get hurt very easily, as I often am.  Years ago, while discussing more heartache imposed by an ex-boyfriend, I told my mother that part of me wished I had been more like him: untrusting, cynical, and guarded to all.  It seemed at the time that he rarely felt hurt and/or let-down or hurt by the sneaky and back-stabbing actions of those around him.  Therefore, he never really experienced the disappointment in people, because he never had much faith in anyone.

That day my mom said something like, "no, no.  I'd rather be more like you.  Being like him would mean that you were closed off, negative, and unhappy.  I'd rather be trusting."

And true, I get what she was saying... but still.  When you're like me, you feel let down too often.  And when I'm faced with a situation in which someone is dishonest, sneaky, and intentionally hurtful - no matter how many times it's happened (a lot) - I am hurt fully all over again.  And every time, when faced with this realization, I feel completely shocked.  I guess because I'm not wired that way, and so I may never understand how and why people feel the need to be so horrible and malicious.  

Sometimes it's hard to keep a positive attitude and keep faith in the goodness of the world as a whole.  Right now I'm having a hard time doing this.  Alas, I've maintained this hope and faith for this long so I reckon I will continue to be able to do so.

"You've done it before and you can do it now. See the positive possibilities. Redirect the substantial energy of your frustration and turn it into positive, effective, unstoppable determination."  -Ralph Marston